I just got off the phone with the kid's mom and I wanted to put down into words what was said before they fade away in my mind. So much shared today.....
She told me that mom and her brother are picking her up from graduation on the 20th. She still can't understand why I cant bring the kids. She said she allowed them to go on TWO vacations with us and yet, I can't bring them to see her 2 hours away??? She has, in a way, a point I guess. Anyway she went on to say the the apartment through VOA had not come through yet and even if it had she would have no furniture, no TV, no phone and that she couldn't live like that..."She would be alone"...
She said that her brother had offered to come let her live with her mom, him and his girlfriend in (I think) Jacksonville. Or somewhere up there on that side of the coast. Anyway, several hours away. She thought it was a good idea because she could then join his gym and "get her mind and body into shape". He is a MMA someone and he would help her, according to our conversation. She was concerned however that she might not see her kids very often unless her mom would bring her down to see them. She then bemoaned the fact that she wouldn't have a car and that she still didn't have her license. (Her license has been revoke due to lack of making child support payments to her x-hubby-at least that is what she told me).
She spoke to the kids and started crying, saying that she couldn't live without them. I had Maddi sing some songs to her and she cried more. I told her that the kids were doing well, Ty was starting to say some words and she abruptly changed the subject to Ty never having been circumcised. Weird segue....
I told her that we had talked about seeing what it would take to get it done. (We actually would like it done if we end up keeping the kids). I told her that the cost would be prohibitive and that since the kids are in state care it probably wouldn't happen anyway. She kept on talking about how important it would be. She asked if I had any way to contact (dad's) mom. She said, and I QUOTE, " They bought our drugs all the time, I'm sure she would pay to get him circumcised." Okaaay......
Continuing in the conversation she went to the fact that all the girls hate her there. She got in trouble for being "friendly" (not sure how that played out) with the boys and the girls got jealous. Now she said she stays to herself.
She started again saying how she just couldn't "do this". How she had to get her kids back. She asked if I thought she was doing the right thing, going to stay with her brother. I told her that I didn't know, but it sounded like she would be taking care of herself and that sounded like a smart thing to do. She said that she wasn't sure what she would do if they took her kids away. I told her that even if that would happen that she would still be part of their lives. That I would make sure that they knew who their mommy was and that she could still see and talk to them. She said, and again I QUOTE, "I couldn't do it, I would make sure I OD'd. I just wouldn't live through that again".
I still am concerned of her stability. I pray for her and try to encourage her but I just don't know....
I needed to get this down in word format so my brain didn't have to hold it.
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